For individuals in Connecticut who are considering a divorce, there are many challenges. The process can be emotionally difficult, as you dismantle your family, split up your household finances and prepare for a very different future.

If you have children, the challenges are even greater, because barring very rare circumstances, you and your children’s other parent will have to continue to maintain a relationship for what may be years or decades if your children are very young.  You should consider what is in your child’s “best interests” when working out an agreement because that is how the court will review any child custody plan you develop.

It is important to keep this in mind throughout all elements of the process. The “best interests” of you children will be the touchstone of most decisions relating to your children and if you keep your focus on this issue, it can make many of the more contentious topics potentially a little less problematic.

While it is one of the most difficult aspects of a divorce with children and shared custody, keeping a civil and productive tone in all communication with your child’s other parent is essential. While divorce is blamed for many ill effects on children, in many cases, it is really the conflict and stress caused by the constant, never-ending bickering and fighting that can be most harmful to children.

You are divorcing because you no longer love your spouse and may not be able to tolerate living together. Your children deserve the right to have two helpful, caring parents, who will work together, even if they must live separately, to help become happy, well-adjusted adults.