We Listen. We Help. We Care.

Should you and your ex share the same nanny between households?

On Behalf of | Mar 1, 2024 | Divorce |

Divorce brings many changes to a family dynamic, especially when children are in the picture.

Some parents love the care their nannies offer. They may wonder whether it is a good idea to share the same nanny between households.

Consistency in child care

Sharing a nanny between households can provide stability in child care routines. It is one way to ensure that children receive consistent care regardless of which parent’s home they are in. This consistency can help children feel secure and minimize the disruption from a divorce.


Having the same nanny can maintain familiarity for the children. They already have a bond with the caregiver, which can ease the stress of adjusting to post-divorce life.

Cooperative parenting

Sharing a nanny requires a high level of cooperation between divorced parents. They must communicate effectively, coordinate schedules and resolve any conflicts that may arise. This arrangement can promote healthy co-parenting dynamics. It may show children that their parents can work together for their well-being.

Potential challenges

Sharing a nanny between households does come with challenges. Differences in parenting styles, household rules and expectations can lead to conflicts between parents and the nanny. Additionally, logistical issues such as transportation between homes and scheduling conflicts may arise. A job description unique to the shared situation can be helpful.

Privacy and boundaries

Sharing a nanny may also blur boundaries between ex-spouses. Privacy concerns may arise, especially if the nanny is privy to sensitive information about each household. Parents need to establish clear boundaries and communicate openly about expectations regarding privacy and confidentiality.

Whether it is a good idea for divorced parents to share the same nanny depends on various factors. Ultimately, the decision should prioritize the well-being and best interests of the children. It should account for the unique dynamics of each family.